Paul Ryan

POLITICO Magazine: Jesse Rifkin- Paul Ryan and The Long History of Political Beards

Paul Ryan

Source: This piece was originally posted at The Daily Review: POLITICO Magazine: Jesse Rifkin- Paul Ryan and The Long History of Political Beards

When I first saw new Speaker of The House Paul Ryan and his new beard I guess a week ago, I thought, ‘great, here’s another political faker wannabe. Someone who wants to fit in with the Millennial hipsters, or whoever else. And will follow whatever the current cool fad is.’ To be honest with you, I doubt he’s still wearing that beard a month from now. Sure! It will keep his face warm when he goes back to freezing Wisconsin and perhaps help him get through another disappointing Green Bay Packers playoff loss.

But he’s got to deal with both Senate Leader Mitch McConnell, President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and to a certain extent House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, when she needs to him to bail him out on things like getting votes on things that the House Tea Party doesn’t believe in. Like paying for government, to use as an example. And paying our debts, which is really what the debt ceiling is about. Officially acknowledging that you have a government debt. He’s got to deal with people who are never afraid to crack a joke. Especially when they know that person can’t hurt them or fire them.

All of these leader’s all have quick-wits and sense of humors and he’s friendly with all of them. which could kill him with the Tea Party. The next handshake with President Obama, could cost Speaker Ryan his speakership. Senator Robert Bennet, who at the time at least was one of the most conservative members of Congress, lost his Senate seat in a Republican primary in 2010. Because he was caught shaking hands with Democratic Senator Ron Wyden. They’re all going to take shots at his beard, at least in private. And with Mitch McConnell, those shots might actually come from a gun. He’s from Guntucky after all.

I believe one of the things that Paul Ryan has going for him is that he comes off as real and as someone who Joe and Mary Average can relate to. He comes from an Midwestern Irish-Catholic background, who needed student loans to get through college. Whose had a government job most of his working life. This is not someone who comes off as being better than everyone else who feels he has something to prove. He’s someone who has worked very hard to get where he is, because he’s had to.

Unlike, gee I don’t know, just throwing out a name here, but try George W. Bush. Just to use as an example. And the Speaker’s beard to me as it does for a lot of guys who aren’t lumberjacks, or rednecks, or bikers, or cowboys, headbangers, football players, it just looks phony to me. And someone who looks like they want to be someone else. Paul Ryan, should be Paul Ryan. A very bright Irish-Catholic guy from Wisconsin whose gotten to the highest point in Congress by being Paul Ryan. Not by trying to convince people he’s someone other than Paul Ryan.

Paul Ryan

The Onion: House Speaker Paul Ryan Discovers Half-Finished Escape Tunnel Leading Out of Speaker’s Office

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Source: The Onion: House Speaker Paul Ryan Discovers Half-Finished Escape Tunnel Leading Out of Speaker’s Office

After spending a few months trying to lead the Tea Party and rest of the House Republican Conference, which might be harder than trying to lead a pack of wild horses for the very first time, new Speaker of the House Paul Ryan might be looking for an escape tunnel in the Speaker’s office. “What have I gotten myself into? I can’t lead these people, no one can. It’s like trying to tell Anarchists what to do.” Speaker Ryan’s first quote walking into his first House Republican Conference meeting as Speaker. Well according to The Onion anyway. But The Onion is more reliable than Fox News and MSNBC combined.

Speaker Ryan, is going to have to lead a pack of wild wolves and get them to do things that they see as sinful. Like funding government agencies, because you have to know that the House Tea Party Caucus, doesn’t believe in governing. Even though they supposedly serve in government. Just one of their ironies. He’s going to have to lead a Republican Conference that has no problems shutting down the government, even if it means getting exactly what they don’t want at the end of the day.

Paul Ryan, is no longer chairing the House Budget Committee or the Ways and Means Committee. Where he can get away with passing legislation that will pass with only Republican votes in committee and then pass on the House floor on a party-line as well. And watch it die in the Senate like fish out of water. As Speaker, Ryan is responsible for passing legislation that can become law. Pass the Senate and then be signed by the President as well and of course pass in the House. And that means working with who the Tea Party sees as a Socialist Muslim Devil. Who secretly funds ISIS to kill Americans. Thats right, President Barack Obama.

And to do these things he’s going to have to do a couple of things that are seen as four-letter cuss words with the Tea Party. Govern and compromise with Democrats. Even though govern has six letters and compromise has ten letters. A little Tea Party math for you and these things won’t be easy for him to do. The Tea Party sees themselves as Middle Eastern dictators, even though most of them are of Anglo-Saxon Protestant background and are House backbenchers. Not even freshman senators and live by the childish code, “if I can’t have that house, burn it down.”

It’s not so much Paul Ryan I’m making fun, but the people he’s now responsible for leading. Ryan, I believe is a good intelligent man who sees himself as a legislature who may end up dying in Congress even if his whole career is in the House, because he loves it so much and wants to do the right things. But like with football, a coach is only as good as his staff and his players. Then its up to him to get the most out of what he has to work with. And like with Congress a leader is only as good as his staff, his leadership team, his committee chairman and his troops.

Trying to get the Tea Party to compromise on anything is like trying to tell kids they can’t have cake for dinner and have to do their homework before they play video games. Speaker Ryan is going to hand his hands full and I wish him the best. Because for government to work, he’s going to have to be able to work with Democrats and then sell that to his troops. He’s going to have to tell his troops to vote to fund government agencies that the Tea Party believes doesn’t exist, at least in the U.S. Constitution. Which is like trying to sell broccoli for desert and doing your homework for fun to ten-year olds. Lets wish the new Speaker the best, he’s going to need it as well as the luck of the Wisconsin Irish and perhaps some Jack Daniels whisky as well.

John Boehner- I'm finally escaping the insane asylum

The Onion: John Boehner To Paul Ryan: ‘I Was Once Young And Beautiful Too’

John Boehner- I'm finally escaping the insane asylum
John Boehner- I’m finally escaping The Nut House

Source: The Onion: John Boehner To Paul Ryan: ‘I Was Once Young And Beautiful Too’

Anyone worried about looking too cute and too young for their age, I got a healthier way to age than to take up tobacco and alcoholism. Try leading a wolf pack of people in government that doesn’t believe in government. Which would be like trying to force some hippie vegetarian to get on a meat lovers diet. Good luck with that with all the frustration will come with it. Sure! New Speaker Paul Ryan at 45, is a young-looking tall handsome Midwestern man who is happily married with kids and has a life outside of the swamp better known as Washington. And right now looks like a man who just won the White House in a landslide. But the German Nazis looked unbeatable until America went to Europe and the British and French got off their pacifist pussy-whipped asses and decided to, “okay! We’ll defend our own country!” And the Nazis actually faced some real competition.

Once Speaker Ryan cuts his first deal with the Senate and perhaps even House Minority Nancy Pelosi, to avoid House Republican led government shutdowns, or with President Obama and agrees to fund the government without the President voluntarily resigning, or impeaching himself, the new young Speaker, will be accused of the worst sinful thing that you can on the Far-Right in America, liberalism! And be accused of working with the Democrats to destroy America. And inviting ISIS in to occupy America. Or completely opening up the Southern border to import millions of Mexicans to take all of our fast food jobs. Or whatever the week long pot high the Far-Right is on and whatever fantasy they’re going through at the time.

Sure! Being Speaker of the House of Representatives, might look like Wisconsin cheeseburgers and freedom fries right now. But wait until Speaker Ryan actually has to do his job and get bills passed that have to be passed for the Federal Government which he is now one of the top leaders of, has to get done for the government, to I don’t know, protect the country from terrorism. You know, little boring details like that. Which he’ll have to get Democratic support for both in the Senate and of course from President Obama. As well as Moderate Republicans both in the House and Senate. Then the new Speaker might wish he was at a Green Bay Packers game and eating a Wisconsin cheeseburger and never want to drink the Tea Party again.